Now what?

well it's finally done, "what girls really think about Christ-honoring guys." (the date is wrong because I started writing the post on the 22nd but didn't actually finish and publish it until tonight...) It was so much fun to do this post! Check it out below! Feedback is welcome. Enjoy:)

I have some ideas about future blog posts... but i'd like to try something and get some "audience feedback." below I will post a few ideas I have and which ever idea gets the highest vote will be written about first! (hopefully they'll all be written about eventually though).

Take your pick:

1. Second Families- idolatry in how Christians spend their time

2. Pride is a mother pregnant with all other sins

3. RUN (a parallel between Isaiah 53 and Acts 8) with "special guest writer/idea giver" :)

4. Family (respecting them, how they lay the foundation for relationships, self sacrifice, loving them, etc.) (i'll think of a catchier title, promise. lol)

5. Two activities that bond women closer that anything else

6. Sanctification is not a lonely process

7. Modesty is a heart issue

Hope everyone is doing well with all of this rain! This week is fall break so hopefully i'll be on here more often then most school weeks.

Don't forget to check out "What Girls Really Think about Christ-honoring Guys"

What girls really think of Christ-honoring guys...

Okay, before we get this ball rolling, a few disclaimers and explanations:

1. This idea came to me last Sunday night when I was talking to a friend who just began a dating relationship. She was telling me about the first date and was so excited and blown away by the fact that her new boyfriend prayed over their meal, without any hesitation. So... the thought occurred to me that maybe guys should know how much things like this mean to girls.

2. This is NOT by any means a prescription for guys to "get" Christian girls. Nor is it girls preaching at guys. This post is an encouragement for Christian guys to continue doing what they are already doing. This is not a sermon, but simply a "thank you." All of these scenarios and ideas are things that we've already seen and been affected by our brothers in Christ doing. This is not what a group of Christian girls said that they "wished Christian guys did" but this is what a group of Christian girls appriciates about what they've already seen Christ-honoring guys do.

3. This is NOT only about dating/romantic relationships. Brothers and Sisters in Christ come in contact with each other every day and whether they are dating, or not, brothers in Christ still have an impact on their fellow sisters. Example: My pastor, my father, and my biological brothers all impact my life as brothers in Christ but there is definitely no dating/romantic relationship occurring with any of these men.

Okay, without further ado...

What girls really think of Christ-honoring guys:

After picking several high school girl's brains, as well as my own 20-year old one, we came up with many things we appreciated about our brothers in Christ. Below are four of the main, overarching things we admire and examples to follow.

1. Leadership-Perhaps leadership is one of the top qualities admired in our fellow brothers. Inside of the dating realm girls so appreciate guys stepping up, and taking initiative in deciding what a relationship is. Example: Jim and Jill have been best friends for about 6 months, one or both of them would like the relationship to advance to a dating relationship. Jim decides to step up and define their relationship. This simplifies things, and in many cases keeps one or both parties from being hurt, especially if Jim clarifies what their relationship is by saying "we are just friends, you are like my sister, etc." A temporary feeling of disappointment is so much more bearable than months spent playing the guessing game on a "maybe potential dating relationship." Other areas that leadership is crucial is in our spiritual lives. Example: praying and reading the Bible together (take note that this should be in addition to what you already do alone with just you and God). Another area of leadership that girls appreciate is in the physical realm. Example: One way we have seen guys do this is by stepping up and initiating a conversation about physical boundaries. Thanks guys for the way you step up. It does not go unnoticed! Leadership is also recognized within in the body of Christ. Example: how awesome is it for a guy to lead a group of 3rd grade boys every Wednesday night in Bible study? Sometimes leadership also means taking a stand. It is huge when guys stand up for what’s right. Example: a group of people are having fun joking on someone, so the guy steps up and puts an end to it. One girl said, "it is just comforting to know that you are safe hanging out and fellowshipping with Christian guys who honor God with their actions and words. You know that you won’t get hit on, there’s no pressure, and crude jokes won’t be made. It’s just exciting to be able to have such a fun time getting to know people in mixed gender company because of the way Christian guys live their lives." Thanks guys!

2. Prayer- Prayer is another huge facet of any Christian's walk but it is especially powerful when guys pray to God on their own, with you, and for you. It says a lot when guys are totally open about their prayer life, instead of just brushing it under the rug. One girl talked about guys praying with/for her, Example: “It really encourages me to know that he’s talking to God about me, for me, and (when the occasion comes) with me. It makes me really trust him and respect him (her boyfriend) because I know that he’s living in intimacy with God and that God’s guiding him.” From my own personal experience, I can also say that prayer is huge. Example: It means so much when Jonathan’s like, “I was praying the other day and…” It also means a lot when he leads us in prayer at the end of a phone conversation , during a meal, after reading the Bible together, or before/after making a decision. A final example that I so appreciate is when one of us is having a rough day and he leads us in prayer.

3. Sincerity/Genuineness- There is just something so special about a real, down to earth person. Guy or girl. One thing girls said they appreciated in guys was a sincere heart. One girl gave an example: "Even if we're at youth group and a guy volunteers to pray and you can tell that he's nervous and maybe doesn't pray in public often, it just means so much that he's taken the initiative to pray for the group. I'd definitely rather that, than a guy to pray who just does it to look all holy." It means a lot when guys are just real and straight up with you about their lives. Thanks guys for being real. Under this umbrella of sincerity and genuiness I’ll put the issue of respect. It speaks volumes when a guy respects you and your family. A HUGE warning sign in any relationship or friendship is if a guy, or even a girl that’s a friend disrespects your parents. RUN. Haha. Seriously though, that’s bad news. Example: One way this is seen in the family realm is just by the way a boyfriend or just a guy friend treats your parents and your siblings, especially if they’re younger. Does he try to do things behind your parents back? Or does he greet your parents and have conversation with them. Does he roll his eyes at your younger sibling? Or say, sure we can look at your cool toy for a few minutes. Does he have patience, or complain? (What will also affect if a guy respects your family, is if YOU (as the girl) respect your own family.) Another example in a dating relationship of respect with one’s family is if the guy asks your Dad/parent for permission to date you. Sure this has lots of awkwardness potential, but it will give the guy about 4289340zillion respect points, and get his relationship with the girl’s parents off to an incredible start. I’ve seen this first hand and wouldn’t have it any other way (Thanks, fiancé!). An example of a guy respecting you: Jonathan and I were hanging out for one of the first times as boyfriend and girlfriend and we ate dinner with his parents and then watched a movie. About half way through the movie, Jonathan raised his arm up and put it around me, and as soon as his arm hit my shoulder, he turned to me and said, “Is that okay?” Words cannot even describe how much this meant to me, still to this day, and how much that displayed his respect for me.

4. Discipleship- It is so exciting and encouraging for girls to see and hear about discipleship happening within a group of guys. Example: Whether it’s through one guy discipling many, meeting with a guy for accountability on a regular basis, or seeing the benefit of a younger guy who looks up to an older godly guy as a role model. This just warms our hearts. It’s great to know that guys are putting God and their relationship with Him first!

*** Special Thanks to: Tara Lemmon, Carrie Lemmon, Laura McCarter, Danielle Lambert, Nichole Morris, and Anna Romano. Thanks for letting me pick your brains and for sharing your hearts. Monday nights with you all are one of my favorite parts of the week. You teach me more than you know. So Proud of you girls!***

**also thanks to J.Braun for being such an example of a Christ-honoring man in my life and to so many others. You SHINE so bright in exhibiting all of these qualities. Thanks for letting God use you! and thanks for letting me bounce ideas about this off of you. Thanks Mom for being the very first to hear this idea and encouraging it. You are a model of a Christ-honoring woman.**

A Cool Post is in the Works!

Hi friends,

okay....drum roll please.... I have a super-cool idea for a blog post, but I have to do some "interviews" first, then I have school Tues and Wed. but sometime before the end of this week, check back for an insightful post. Ok? Okay!

Oh my word... prayer works. (duh moment of the week)

Sometimes God just blows my mind. (He's always mind blowing, I just fail to recognize Him at work as much as I should!). This week prayer has been a huge over lying theme.

Confession: I am CRAZY about Focus on the Family and Family Life Today radio broadcasts. They are so practical and almost always help me see my life in view of the gospel and then show me how to act in a God-honoring way in relationships. So this week I was on my way home from Southeastern and I was listening to one about prayer. A Dad was talking about how he had an Autistic daughter who he consistently prayed for everyday, multiple times a day. One way he did this was through making prayer cards that he would write scripture on and then pray them back to God for his daughter. One of the cards quoted Philippians 2:14-15, "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe..." A few days after praying this consistently about his daughter, he went to a parent's night at her school. One of the teachers came up to him and said, "Mr.(well call him Smith), your daughter (we'll call her Sara) is such a light in this school, she just shines and makes everyone happy who is around her. " Mr. Smith was totally floored. Not only was his prayer answered that his daughter would act as a child of God, shining to those around her, but this teacher said exactly the words that he prayed! Ah! God is so good.

So Wednesdays when I drive back from school I usually do a 20-minute prayer thing where i use the acronym ACTS and I spend 5 minutes on Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication (praying for other people and then presenting my requests to God). But this Wednesday after listening to the focus on the family broadcast, I decided to switch things up and just pray for a while without looking at the time constantly and just pray for what came to mind. So during this time I prayed for a specific person about a conversation that needed to happen with one of their friends. I wasn't sure if this conversation had taken place and I just thought I would pray that it would if it hadn't. So... fast forward a few hours and i got the opportunity to talk to this person and what did they say? "well today I got to talk to my friend....." And they proceeded to tell me the gist of the conversation. I don't think I allowed two or three sentences to come out of their mouth before I exclaimed "AHhhh I'm so sorry but can I interrupt you for just a second?!?! Because I prayed that that conversation would happen today!!!" We were both so floored. Then my friends like, well just out of curiosity, what time were you praying? So I thought about it and then figured it out so I said ummm somewhere between 3:45/4 ish? Guess what time my friend starting having the conversation? yeah you guessed it. The same time I was praying. AHHHH! God is so incredible. He always is, sometimes I'm just so stuck on myself instead of just living for Him.

I'll leave you with a passage about prayer, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

Pray continually today.

A defining moment

Whew that was a close one. I almost jumped off of the "blogging once a week bandwagon". I think I'm a day late, but better late than never right?

Well Sunday night I had quite a defining moment that really put things in perspective. So... All weekend I had been working on this paper that was due yesterday (which went awesome by the way, God is good!) and Sunday night I was driving home from church and I don't really know what happened I just kind of got down in the dumps. Slowly but surely I starting sinking in self pity and scarfing down the lies that the enemy was feeding me without even thinking twice. "You're boring", "You aren't fun to be around", "You're going to bomb your paper presentation on Tuesday", and the list could go on. So there I am driving in tears just wallowing in my own self-centeredness (by the way, being selfish doesn't always mean being cocky or full of yourself, sometimes the most selfish thoughts can be ones that are about yourself in a negative light. You're still focused only on yourself...). So I pull into my neighborhood and I see him. ((There is a young man who lives a few houses down from me. I've seen him a few times before sitting in his driveway in his motorized wheelchair. I don't know if he is physically handicapped, mentally handicapped or both.)) He is riding down the neighborhood sidewalk with white earphones in his ears. He was rocking back and forth as he rolled along, singing with his mouth wide open. He looked so happy. Immediately I was brought to my knees and just lost it. How in the world do I have any reason at all to complain about anything!?! Riding down the sidewalk listening to his music is probably the most fun and freeing experience that this young man gets to have. For once he gets to feel independent and like a "normal" kid his age. This was a huge defining moment for me. My whole perspective changed and I saw schoolwork not as a burden but as a blessing that i even get to go to school! I stopped believing the enemies lies that I wasn't good enough, and thanked the Lord for legs to walk and for all that He's blessed me with. I have NO reason to complain or whine. thank you Lord for giving me this awe inspiring moment to put things in perspective.

Whoever reads this story deserves a hug. Sorry for the longness. lol

This is completely off subject but i read an article Sunday night and then Monday night in the girls group we talked about the sanctity of sex. Check out this article about the "death of sex" It's by a secular newspaper but it's pretty spot on. It talks about a public figure who unfortunately has a huge amount of impact on todays young people and what they think about sex. http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/public/magazine/article389697.ece

Whew okay sorry for the long post. Hope everyone is having a great week!

Procrastinators of the world unite!!!....tomorrow...

I cannot get motivated to do my homework for tomorrow! AH! But, on the positive side, I do think blogging will prove to be a productive and beneficial way to procrastinate. lol. I was just reading in Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics about self-control...how it is my choice and I am responsible for my own actions. True that. He talks about having control over our "animal appetites" like eating, drinking, and sex. None of these things are bad in the proper context. Just like fire. Fire is great in a fire place or at a bonfire and can be used for warmth, cooking, etc. But, fire taken out of it's proper context can be destructive, like burning down a home, burning skin, and killing people. Aristotle says that self control helps us keep things in proper balance, eating too much food is not beneficial, but one mustn't hold to the other extreme or s(he) would starve. I don't know what made me want to share this, but self control is certainly something I'm sure we could all work on with the help of the Holy Spirit. 2 Peter 1:6-8 says, "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you posses these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."

What better way for the enemy to have victory? Sometimes it's not in the "big things" like adultery murder, etc. but it's simply in making us distracted and ineffective in the fight against sin and in living our lives for Christ.

Going to do homework now... :)

Persistent Grace

Something that never stops amazing me, sometimes to the point of overwhelmed tears, is GRACE. You know when you really mess up and just want to crawl in a hole and never come out? Well despite the urge to cower in shame after coming face to face with the filth that is sin, God never stops seeking us. He is just or He wouldn't be God, so He HATES sin. At the same time, he is LOVE, and he loves us purely and unconditionally, or He wouldn't be God. He also has a way of working things in such a way that coincidence is impossible. This week I had a "I am a filthy sinner" moment. And despite my wanting to bury my head in the ground I decided to open my Bible to a chapter that had just been suggested to me the night before. Not a coincidence. The scripture was from Hosea 3 and here are some thoughts from it: Even after we sin over and over, God still pursues us. He is jealous for us. So he seeks us out over and over and then in the words of verse 5,"Afterward the Israelites will return and seek the LORD their God and David their king. They will come trembling to the LORD and to his blessings in the last days."

I am so thankful that the Lord receives me back into His arms when I run as fast as I can back to Him, trembling and ashamed. He sees Christ in me and forgives and forgets. God is so good!

Check out this song by the David Crowder Band, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FxaUYjRtkc&feature=related

An oops, family news, and other article/blog suggestions

Sorry for the oops from my post on Tuesday! Here is the pic that was talked about :) In other family/people I love news: Pray for my Mom, she hurt her back Sunday night, and is finally getting off of the pain meds and functioning kind of normally.

1. An awesome article for Engaged Couples:

Random Thoughts on Engagement | conversantlife.com

2. An article written by one of my professors on what "teenagers" really want in today's churches:

http://betweenthetimes.com/2010/08/27/a-generation-of-carnivores/

3.A case for young marriage, a bit of a lengthy article but totally worth the read: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2009/august/16.22.html

4. My Greek Prof. wrote a way encouraging article on "Bi-Polar Christians" Check it out here: http://www.daveblackonline.com/bipolar_christians.htm

Enjoy!

A Greek Fun Fact and an Awesome Coffee Creamer

Coffee Creamer suggestion of the day is.... "Italian Sweet Creme' " by Coffee Mate. SO GOOD. It's one of those creamer's that is just so good that you don't even need sugar after you put it in. YUM. Nothing better than coffee to get the day started and to begin the labor day weekend! The Hokie's begin their season Monday night! WOO HOO!!!!

Okay awesome Greek fact: If you heard the word "βαπτίζω" (pronounced "Baptizo" in Greek what would you think that it meant? Most would say baptize right? Because "Baptizo" and "Baptize" sound very much alike. However, βαπτίζω really means...get ready for this... to immerse. I love when my classes at Southeastern wed themselves together. On Tuesday, in Greek we learned the word βαπτίζω and in Theology 3 we talked about Baptism. The New Testament model for baptism was immersion. Why? Just one reason is that it clearly illustrates what actually happens in the life of a believer when they decide to follow Jesus. They are buried, or dead, to their old ways of life (hence going under, or being buried by the water) and then they are risen (when they come up out of the water) to live a new life with and for Jesus Christ.

Hope everyone has an incredible labor day weekend! Spend time with your families and live your life as a truly "immersed" Christ-follower.

p.s. Go HOKIES! :)